Patrick Kill

13 Articles written
Patrick Kill specializes in writing the most absurd, iconoclastic humorous dark fiction around. At 6’1’’, he is the tallest midget on earth. He is a competitive eater…of children. He prefers footie pajamas with someone else’s feet in them. He fishes for dead bodies in drainage ditches during the day and traps for yeti at night. He is the most ridiculous man in the world. His favorite saying is: “I don’t always eat humans, but when I do, it’s dos Mexicanos. Stay evil, my friends.”

Online Stories

Chocolate Jesus

Sunday school was no place to be on a gorgeous summer day. Ms. Larson would rattle on about how Jesus did this and Jesus...

Everyone’s Out To Get You, Mother Rucker!

It all started one afternoon just after school was out. Mary Rucker, teacher at St. Robert’s Catholic School and better known to most of...

Mind’s Filthy Lesson

At twelve years of age, James raped and killed his imaginary friend. Before that time, James had named her Laura and they played and grew...

The Day Mr. Langford Cracked

Through days of destruction and violence, it is common to only see demons and death and every other societal horror which cuts into our...

The Boy With the Razor-Sharp Teeth

Every smile seemed dangerous with pointed teeth and bleeding gums. And with dark beady eyes and breath that could choke a mule, no one...

Clitorissa + the Incredible Edible Leg

She was the most fucked up woman I had ever seen before — an entire freak show within one person — all sprawled out across a bed of...

The Hunter King

I’ve never been the type of person to kill anything, even insects, and especially not animals. Being a devout believer in God, and member...

Screaming Greens

Rolling hills of lush green seemed to deaden the closer everything got to the Lincoln that had pulled into the parking lot. A wire-thin...

Psychotica

1: The Awakening Kalep opened his eyes to a sandy, barren plain where a dark, shadowy lake appeared, its black waves eroding the shoreline. He...

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